Wow. I don't really know what to write because I could write so much. I could comment on every line because I've never ever NEVAH EVAH read something that so clearly articulates so many (all?) of the feelings I have/had. I want to both smile and cry. There's so much here that resonates to the point of being deafening.
I have and do struggle with a lot of the same things you have and do. Ever since I was a teenager, I felt lonely in both my feelings of enjoying being alone and not understanding happiness. When I'm alone, I feel okay; with others, I feel broken on these matters. And yes to the spiralling about the internal/external narratives.
As I finish this comment, I'm crying. It hurts so much sometimes to love something that people don't understand or think is wrong. And thus so lonely because of the inability to find a partner who could share an alone-but-together life.
I identify with the desire to just feel the weight of someone.
wow thanks for the kind words. im so glad this resonates with someone (representation really does matter!) i was hesitant to share this because it almost feels too vulnerable for the internet, but your comment makes it feel worth it. 🫂
Wow. I don't really know what to write because I could write so much. I could comment on every line because I've never ever NEVAH EVAH read something that so clearly articulates so many (all?) of the feelings I have/had. I want to both smile and cry. There's so much here that resonates to the point of being deafening.
I have and do struggle with a lot of the same things you have and do. Ever since I was a teenager, I felt lonely in both my feelings of enjoying being alone and not understanding happiness. When I'm alone, I feel okay; with others, I feel broken on these matters. And yes to the spiralling about the internal/external narratives.
As I finish this comment, I'm crying. It hurts so much sometimes to love something that people don't understand or think is wrong. And thus so lonely because of the inability to find a partner who could share an alone-but-together life.
I identify with the desire to just feel the weight of someone.
Thank you. xo
wow thanks for the kind words. im so glad this resonates with someone (representation really does matter!) i was hesitant to share this because it almost feels too vulnerable for the internet, but your comment makes it feel worth it. 🫂